What happens to all the Un-Hugged hugs?

The Daily Shouts segment on The New Yorker recently did a cute little comic called ‘What happens to all the Un-Hugged Hugs’ and it got me thinking about ‘Hugs’

I have had a weird history with hugs. My family is not very keen on showing affection, be it verbally or physically. For the longest time in my life, I was uncomfortable with hugging people no matter how close I was to them.

I once watched this Japanese movie called ‘Ohayo’ which revolved around the nicety of saying ‘Good Morning’ and how not saying it could lead to a myriad of misunderstandings. I was amazed after watching it. I didn’t really realize that such a small thing could make such a big difference to our social lives. Long ago, I had a flatmate who used to say Good Morning to all of us everyday. I found it really weird and used to be super awkward when I said Good Morning back to him. It was never something that we did in my parents’ house so I wasn’t used to it. After watching the movie, the realization finally sort of dawned on me and I gradually made a conscious effort to say Good Morning to all my flatmates everyday. The day started off on a better note automatically. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that it brought about a drastic change in my social life. 🙂

Coming back to hugs, this whole story was to stress on the fact that hugs remove the awkwardness between people. You can say so many unsaid things through a hug. You could tell someone who you met after a long time that you really missed them.  You could tell someone you will not see in a long time that you will really miss them. You could tell people you love them without even saying anything. The intensity of the hugs can differ depending on the person – if its an aquaintance it might be a light half hug and if its your best friend its a bone crushing squeeze.

I am happy to say that now I am super comfortable with hugs. My mother is still apprehensive of it. I remember the first time I hugged her was when I was leaving home to start my first job. I cannot believe it took so long but that’s just how things were. Now, of course, I hug her every time I leave my hometown after meeting her. I hug all my friends when I meet them after a long time and my favourite hugs are the ones right before leaving people, not knowing when we will meet next.

With Covid, I don’t really know what the future of hugs will be. The NewYorker cartoon talked about how these hugs are lingering around the city in despair and waiting to be rejoined with our bodies again, literally and figuratively. A friend recently texted me that she coudln’t wait to hug me when she meets me. This is the longest we have gone without meeting each other, because of the lockdown. I suddenly remembered Shilpa Gupta’s installation ‘For, in your tongue I cannot fit’ that I had seen at the Kochi Biennale. As a small part of the installation she had whispered the poetry of several jailed poets from across the world and then she seals and closes the jar. Only if my friend could also seal these hugs in a jar until I met her and I could feel all the warmth and love pouring forth when I opened it. Or even better, if she could just somehow wrap it up and send it to me. And that’s where all the un-hugged hugs could go. 🙂

Why do writers write?

Writers write to keep memories from dying.

Writers write because it’s their high.

They write because it’s easier than talking.

They write because they want someone to read them like they read others.

Writers write because sometimes punctuation is really important.

Writers write to convert words into a painting in your mind.

They write to take you everywhere they have been.

They write so that you can hear every echo in the story they wrote.

Writers write so that their words can pierce your heart.

But they also write to mend broken ones.

Summer Nights

There is this thing about summer nights, a nostalgia that doesn’t fade, be it months or years or even decades.

I remember the nights I spent at my Nani’s place, lying in the cot on the night under a starry sky, the rings of the mortein coil rising to the sky while the pomeranian who slept below my cot snored lightly.

I remember the nights at my Dadi’s house, when there wasn’t even a cot to lie on, just a hard plastic mat and sometimes it used to get so cold in May that we used to bring out the blankets from the trunk on the terrace.

It was an altogether different feeling, waking up to sunshine on your face and once in a while, to rains, when you had to wake up and rush inside, taking your bedding and covers along.

I remember the nights at my house in Lucknow. It didn’t happen often but when it did, I was surprisingly glad. No electricity meant darkness, which meant freedom, to go to the terrace, in the middle of the night or outside, to exchange some notes with people you couldn’t meet otherwise.

Summer,

A love hate relationship with you has given me memories which are equally bittersweet. There were power cuts all the time, but anything beyond the mundane life was welcome. It seemed like life got even more monotonous during your time. It was the same day lived, over and over again, specially during the vacations which we craved  for but within 10 days, got bored of.

Now, there is watermelon in the evening, followed by finally switching off the A.C., when Maa came rushing in to tell us to get some fresh air. We reluctantly go to the rooftop and listen to some music until it is dark and the mosquitoes attack. And then we go back to our artificially created atmosphere.

I do miss you, it is true. I miss the feel of heat on my skin when I came back from school, craving a chilled glass of sherbet. I miss sitting on the staircase playing cards with my cousins because we couldn’t watch TV. Most of all, I miss the darkness of the night, where everyone gathered around together, because they had no screens to look at, no instruments to distract them, and we could just be there, in the moment, waiting for the light to come back and at the same time wishing that it does not.

I miss you, Summer.

Jim Jam

On my way to work today, I passed a supermarket and  I saw an aged man coming out with a huge bag in one hand and a Jim Jam (Biscuits with jam in between them) in the other. He could hardly manage to carry one bag and was struggling with opening the pack. He finally opened it and the smile on his face was the same as a kid who had found his favourite toy after a long day of searching. He opened it and licked the jam before eating the biscuits separately. Not only do some habits die hard, but some people always remain a kid at heart. ❤

If I Were A Cat

So recently I had the golden opportunity to visit the “Cat Cafe Studio”. It was one of the best concepts for a cafe I have ever seen. There were almost 15 cats and kittens in the room. There were set rules like – do not pick the cats up, sanitize your hands before you touch them and to not wake them up when they are sleeping. The downside being that most of these cats were asleep when we were there but once they wake up, you cannot resist petting them and just wait for them to come towards you! The feeling is actually indescribable, you will only know it when you are present there, and of course if you like cats.

I sort of had an epiphany when I was there and it was the realization that cats are actually my spirit animal. People have crazy spirit animals who are wild and unique but mine is as simple as a cat. That’s probably also what I want to be in my next life. Though the internet differs when I took the quiz for the same, my answer was:

The owl spirit animal is emblematic of a deep connection with wisdom and intuitive knowledge. When the spirit of the animal guides you, you can the true reality and see beyond illusion and deceit.

Leaving that aside, I wish I were a cat because

• All I want to do is laze around with a book during afternoons and sleep until late in the mornings.
• All I want is to be pampered all day and never give any of that love in return 😛
• All I want is to be fed good food and fish and run around and out of the house at my whim
• Most of all, I want to be the master of my own life and make my own choices without caring about the world at large. HAHAHA!

And that is what i believe cats think about inside their tiny brains.

Do not miss the adorable puns in this adorable video about how cats became our feline overlords a.k.a me in next life. 😛

Everyone’s a host?

I binge watched 6 episodes of Black Mirror just a few weeks ago and I wasn’t ready for Westworld at all! This, everyone, is the golden age of Sci-Fi, I believe. We are a selfie-taking, thumbs-stuck-to-keypad, eyes-stuck-to-the-screen generation of people. Even when we are having the best time of our lives without technology, we are constantly thinking of updating it on our social media. Are we at the verge of an apocalypse? That’s what these shows seem to say in any case and  they seem so close to reality that it’s unnerving.

Black Mirror with its first episode “Nosedive” talks about how people are judged by the “likes” and the ratings they have online! The ending will make you question every social media presence you have and the reason for it.

I will not delve into the further episodes but if there is something you should watch right now it’s this one show!

Coming to Westworld,I just binge watched through the seven episodes that have already aired and I don’t know how many are yet to come but I AM HOOKED! And also, welcome Anthony Hopkins! YAY! Jurassic Park was nothing in comparison to what this nightmare by Crichton holds in store for you. Thrilling, enchanting and to say the least, engaging. I have been going through every Post Episode Discussion Thread on Reddit after every episode and literally gaping at the theories that people have. It will make you question what is real and what isn’t? This is one show that I am really really looking forward to following through till the end. I just hope it doesn’t end up being like LOST.

 

Fall Playlist

It has been quite some time since I uploaded a list of my favorite songs. Fall is a season which doesn’t really make an appearance in India but everything I have seen in popular culture seems beautiful beyond words. So here is my fall playlist which might or might not be about fall. 😛

• A Lonely September: For those days when you are alone and restless. When I was younger I tried so hard to learn the chords for this song on a guitar without any success. 😛

• We Don’t Talk Anymore: I am so addicted to this song. Not a day goes by when I don’t listen to this song at least five times. The video is amazing as well. There is so much happening, you have to watch it twice to see what all is really happening.

• Faded (Not the Alan Walker one) – Have been listening to this song ever since the last three weeks surprisingly turned into an endless stream of club hopping and party sessions.

• Nashe Si Chaddh Gayi: Not so much of a fan of Arijit Singh, but there are some good EDM beats coming out of Bollywood recently and also, the video of course is pretty great. So here it goes.

• Cool Girl: Another one from the club hopping scenes. Tove Lo is at it again! 🙂

• Kids: Gems like these are what make me fall in love with One Republic again and again, ever since I began listening to their first album!

• Brothers in Arms: Once in the morning in office and you’re set for the day, from one of my favorite movies of all time. Is there a second part coming or not?

• Take Me There: EDM from our own shores, Nucleya kills it again. Having attended it live, I feel a little too attached to this band. Fun fact: the featuring artist and I were college mates. Pretty epic I must say.

 

 

Sober Notes 8: Home

When my words became another brick in the wall that you built between us,

I realized it was time to find a new home.

Anniversary

A month ago my blog completed its 1 year anniversary. I still remember the time when I decided to begin writing everyday. Life did get into my way and things happened such that I lost interest after about 100 posts. Should have stuck to the 100 days of Happiness theme. There is a slight sense of failure that comes in with everything that you leave midway. All the drafts pending in my blog make me sad. It makes me even more sad that some of them are half written and left midway. Does that also talk about the way I live life? But I cannot remember any instances where I left something so important midway. Whenever it comes to taking up responsibilities I am the first one to be aggressive enough to complete it at the earliest even at the risk of being in charge, which I believe I am really bad at. Maybe its the things that concern only me. Maybe its about putting others before myself. Well, I can’t really judge all this on my own. I do need a second, third and maybe even a fourth opinion. This is turning into another one of my stream of consciousness posts but that’s what I do best. That’s what comes naturally to me and the best part is that it helps me in relieving stress. Lately, I have been pretty active on social media ranging from Facebook to Snapchat and lots of Instagramming. Made me question some things like how did I begin sharing my life publicly like this, when exactly did this happen? When I thought about it, I realized that it gives you the feeling of being looked after. When I think, I sometimes think about God listening to my thoughts and helping me out when I am in trouble. Being a so-called ‘Atheist’, I don’t know how that happens but it isn’t exactly God, it’s just some higher power above. It’s like when you’re scared of the ghost under your bed, you want someone to be there. Similarly, when I post anything publicly, I like to believe someone is watching and will help me out. And if not help me, they will at least lend an ear, and to know that someone’s listening is soothing enough.

Talent

I know I have been away for really long.. but I found something that I couldn’t resist from sharing.

Its titled

“His Talent”

Look at his talent that’s
burning pages and hearts.
he’s tearing down buildings
with the power of his words