What happens to all the Un-Hugged hugs?

The Daily Shouts segment on The New Yorker recently did a cute little comic called ‘What happens to all the Un-Hugged Hugs’ and it got me thinking about ‘Hugs’

I have had a weird history with hugs. My family is not very keen on showing affection, be it verbally or physically. For the longest time in my life, I was uncomfortable with hugging people no matter how close I was to them.

I once watched this Japanese movie called ‘Ohayo’ which revolved around the nicety of saying ‘Good Morning’ and how not saying it could lead to a myriad of misunderstandings. I was amazed after watching it. I didn’t really realize that such a small thing could make such a big difference to our social lives. Long ago, I had a flatmate who used to say Good Morning to all of us everyday. I found it really weird and used to be super awkward when I said Good Morning back to him. It was never something that we did in my parents’ house so I wasn’t used to it. After watching the movie, the realization finally sort of dawned on me and I gradually made a conscious effort to say Good Morning to all my flatmates everyday. The day started off on a better note automatically. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that it brought about a drastic change in my social life. 🙂

Coming back to hugs, this whole story was to stress on the fact that hugs remove the awkwardness between people. You can say so many unsaid things through a hug. You could tell someone who you met after a long time that you really missed them.  You could tell someone you will not see in a long time that you will really miss them. You could tell people you love them without even saying anything. The intensity of the hugs can differ depending on the person – if its an aquaintance it might be a light half hug and if its your best friend its a bone crushing squeeze.

I am happy to say that now I am super comfortable with hugs. My mother is still apprehensive of it. I remember the first time I hugged her was when I was leaving home to start my first job. I cannot believe it took so long but that’s just how things were. Now, of course, I hug her every time I leave my hometown after meeting her. I hug all my friends when I meet them after a long time and my favourite hugs are the ones right before leaving people, not knowing when we will meet next.

With Covid, I don’t really know what the future of hugs will be. The NewYorker cartoon talked about how these hugs are lingering around the city in despair and waiting to be rejoined with our bodies again, literally and figuratively. A friend recently texted me that she coudln’t wait to hug me when she meets me. This is the longest we have gone without meeting each other, because of the lockdown. I suddenly remembered Shilpa Gupta’s installation ‘For, in your tongue I cannot fit’ that I had seen at the Kochi Biennale. As a small part of the installation she had whispered the poetry of several jailed poets from across the world and then she seals and closes the jar. Only if my friend could also seal these hugs in a jar until I met her and I could feel all the warmth and love pouring forth when I opened it. Or even better, if she could just somehow wrap it up and send it to me. And that’s where all the un-hugged hugs could go. 🙂

A Cup of Tea

Sometimes the simplest things give place to some really strong emotions. One of those things for me is definitely Tea. Here is a timeline of tea in my life:

Childhood
I would see my mother and father indulging in tea about 3 to 4 times a day. Those would be the moments where they would chat to each other and not engage in watching TV or doing anything else. It seemed like a good time to catch up.
When we went to visit other families and friends, they would serve tea to everyone except the kids because tea was STRICTLY NOT for kids, only the adults could have it. We would be served coke or juice, as if that was any healthier!?

Teenage
I was allowed the liberty to have tea but I didn’t find any pleasure in it. Maybe I had not yet developed the taste buds for it? I was assigned the job of making the evening tea for both my parents. I had learnt the exact recipe and we used the same teaspoon for the tea leaves which was used for years. The day it that spoon dissappeared, I was at a loss. I wasn’t sure if my tea would taste the same.

Love
I met someone who loved tea and I fell in love with him and with tea at around the same time. We used to go to the hills and the mountains and while the views and the company changed – one thing remained the same – Tea.

Friendship
Tea became a constant. I would go meet friends and we would always start our day with it even if our day actually started in the Afternoon. I had a friend who would give her all and make tea for me. It would simmer for a long time, finely crushed ginger was added in the end. She would bring out the best cups and pour them out neatly. We would then sit at our table with coasters and all, light a scented candle along with a hand rolled cigaratte and those were some of the best evenings with Tea.

Most recently, my father made us all a cup of tea. I had my doubts about how it would taste. I don’t even know the last time he went to a kitchen. To my surprise, it was absolutely delicious. I guess there are some things that you can’t forget how to do once you have learnt it – much like riding a bicycle.

Phases
There have been gaps of months and years when I have not had tea and there have been phases where I have had tea on a daily basis. For me it is just one of those things – the excess of which gets to me and I have to eventually take a break. But whenever I go back, my love gets stronger and I go all in – simmering, sipping and smoking all worries away.

Unwanted Reviews – 2

Another day at work, I decided to randomly click on whatever music related link that appeared on my YouTube page and decided to review that music. This time around I will also have a verdict as to whether I would want to hear it again or not. I kept on choosing mildly interesting titles from the suggested list and here is what we have:

The video looks great and the music is great for when you’re walking because of the beats. I can’t imagine how many people it must have taken to bring this edit into place and all singing the same song again and again. My verdict is YES I would like to hear it again. He sings it in such a high pitch and his voice is so powerful, its amazing.

OMG how cute is this! And I didn’t expect her voice to be like that, reminds me of Passenger, a teenage version though. This gives me just another reason to love Youtube and its algorithm which I do have my complaints with often. A BIG YES for this one, I will actually add it to my playlist for sure! Do not miss the well written lyrics:

Wishing I could see the machinations
Understand the toil of expectations in your mind
Hold me like you never lost your patience
Tell me that you love me more than hate me all the time
And you’re still mine

I had to try another one, after loving the last one and yes this band is here to stay! YAY! I found a new favourite. 🙂

I used to listen to Rudimental back in College and maybe I was looking for the same kind of magic but the song didn’t give me the same feels and I would rather NOT listen to it again. The video is worth watching once though, its all kinds of travel goals! 😀

Idk how to describe this one. I went in expecting a better song considering the video and the beautiful beautiful colors but alas! Very average song. NOT adding it to my list. The video again is very refreshing. A good reference to store for when you want to deck up something with a hundred colors. 😛

 

Why do writers write?

Writers write to keep memories from dying.

Writers write because it’s their high.

They write because it’s easier than talking.

They write because they want someone to read them like they read others.

Writers write because sometimes punctuation is really important.

Writers write to convert words into a painting in your mind.

They write to take you everywhere they have been.

They write so that you can hear every echo in the story they wrote.

Writers write so that their words can pierce your heart.

But they also write to mend broken ones.

Monsoon Playlist

A roundup of the monsoon beauties before I these songs disappear into the vortex of my brain.

I love all the shades of a relationship they managed to capture in this one song with the one common motif of travelling in the underground. I am a fan of public transport and I have so many stories related to it. It is a modern cultural experience in itself. To see it being used like this was nothing short of magic to me. 🙂

I have loved Angus and Julia Stone since ‘Big Jet Plane’. Their dreamy music is always so soothing and this video is Vacation goals AF! 😉

I stumbled upon Roo Panes accidentally and the only question I have is why didn’t I not know him earlier? It’s like I have found Damien Rice from the parallel universe!

This one is just to add the much needed color and peppiness to the sobriety that might have been induced by all the indie songs above. XD

“I’d rather dance than talk with you”. Enough said. 🙂

 

Unwanted Reviews

So this one day at work, I decided to randomly click on whatever music related link that appeared on my YouTube page and decided to review that music. I kept on choosing mildly interested titles from the suggested list and here is what we have:

H.E.R. – Lights On

The music reminds me a lot of Honne (I wrote a post about them earlier), but the touch of their vocals is missing. I shouldn’t be comparing and this is good in itself to listen on a breezy evening when you are all alone. This is what you would add in your “Chill” playlist for easy listening.

SZA – Broken Clocks

The music is very similar to the last one but slightly more upbeat and reminds me of Alessia Cara’s Stay. The lyrics though are great! Another good one for the “Chill” Playlist, but I doubt I would add it to mine. Recently, it feels like all of these songs sound almost the same.

Jain – Makeba

So, I cheated a little bit here. All the suggested music was by SZA so I chose this one instead. I have been obsessed with this one ever since a colleague played this during one of the office parties. The music and the lyrics are brilliant and the music as well. Jain is only 21 and has been all around the world. She spent quiet a bit of her life in Africa and her music has been influenced by African Music clearly. This song specially, has been written for ‘Makeba’ who was a UN goodwill ambassador, an actor and a singer, also known as Mama Africa. Do watch the video and experience the brilliance of editing!

Madcon – Don’t Worry ft. Ray Dalton

What do I even say? Yes it’s happy, yes it’s uplifting but what is this? Also, it’s been published by Warner Music Germany. What’s better than the song is the lobster at 2:34. xD

Robin Schulz – Sugar

OMG I thought that was Justin Beiber for a moment. I think this is a happier video than the last one! Just look at that cop go! It is embarrassing to say it but I do that sometimes when I am alone – dancing like a crazy person that is. 😀

 

 

40 Days of Dating

For everyone who has the slightest of interest in social experiments and relationship psychology – 40 Days of Dating will keep you in its spell from Day 1 to Day 40. Here is what their “About” reads:

What do you do when you’re tired of the prospect of dating? Two good friends with opposite relationship problems found themselves single at the same time. As an experiment, they dated for 40 days.

Since both of them were designers, the website is a colourful journey of the 40 days, interspersed with beautiful typography of a moment or a scenario that stood out from that particular day. They answer the exact same questions about each other every day and it makes for an interesting read and some amazing material to define the human psychology. There are moments when you will relate with their situation, the trivial topics they sometimes fight over and the misunderstandings.

Here is the link to the website which you must scroll through even if you cannot read through it:

http://fortydaysofdating.com/

TBH, I think people who have been dating for quiet some while should answer these questions as well. It would probably give them a wholly new perspective on life and of course, on their relationship as well.

 

Oh Wonder

So yeah, there is this new musician duo that I am totally obsessed with at the moment and as you can read in the title it’s “Oh Wonder”! I have been listening to their remixes for a long time now but never bothered to check out their original videos and music until YouTube threw them at me and voila!

Linking and listing below, two of my favorite songs – Ultralife (for the lyrics) and Heavy (for the music and the adorable video).

“Ultralife”

Lovesick the beat inside my head
Waves struck a sea of bitterness
Lights out solo in the blue
Before I found you

Days passed slowly, lost and low
You gave me hope and now there’s only

Blood running in my veins
I’ve never been here before
And I got love falling like the rain
I never could’ve asked for more

I got so much soul inside my bones
Take a look at me now
I’m young forever in the sun
Ever since you came I’m living ultralife
I’m living ultralife

Turn down the voice inside my head
Cause heaven only knows why we feel this emptiness
But I will climb out, find another view
Now I’ve found you

Found me on a basement floor
Back when I had lost it all
Told me what the fight was for
And I’m not giving up no more
You elevate the life in me
Illuminate the in-between
Forever gonna feel this free
And I’m not giving up now

It is really hard to put love into words, but they somehow make the impossible possible. And no matter where I am, who I am with, I can always relate to a part or all of the song.

 The above song is “Heavy”. Even though the name is heavy, the song makes me feel light even at the most stressful moments. The way Josephine dances and looks at Anthony is beautiful beyond words. That kind of chemistry is really hard to find and I love the fact that they began bonding over loving the same kind of music. I feel that the kind of music you like says a lot about your personality and your playlist is one of those things that can reveal so much about you. I, for one, am very possessive about my playlist. I often force people into listening my music at social gatherings but what they never know is I very carefully play the kind of music that suits the moment. Those songs are only 10% of my total playlist and keeps changing with the mood. That was quiet the digression. Haha. Signing off to go back and watch Heavy. 🙂

Summer Nights

There is this thing about summer nights, a nostalgia that doesn’t fade, be it months or years or even decades.

I remember the nights I spent at my Nani’s place, lying in the cot on the night under a starry sky, the rings of the mortein coil rising to the sky while the pomeranian who slept below my cot snored lightly.

I remember the nights at my Dadi’s house, when there wasn’t even a cot to lie on, just a hard plastic mat and sometimes it used to get so cold in May that we used to bring out the blankets from the trunk on the terrace.

It was an altogether different feeling, waking up to sunshine on your face and once in a while, to rains, when you had to wake up and rush inside, taking your bedding and covers along.

I remember the nights at my house in Lucknow. It didn’t happen often but when it did, I was surprisingly glad. No electricity meant darkness, which meant freedom, to go to the terrace, in the middle of the night or outside, to exchange some notes with people you couldn’t meet otherwise.

Summer,

A love hate relationship with you has given me memories which are equally bittersweet. There were power cuts all the time, but anything beyond the mundane life was welcome. It seemed like life got even more monotonous during your time. It was the same day lived, over and over again, specially during the vacations which we craved  for but within 10 days, got bored of.

Now, there is watermelon in the evening, followed by finally switching off the A.C., when Maa came rushing in to tell us to get some fresh air. We reluctantly go to the rooftop and listen to some music until it is dark and the mosquitoes attack. And then we go back to our artificially created atmosphere.

I do miss you, it is true. I miss the feel of heat on my skin when I came back from school, craving a chilled glass of sherbet. I miss sitting on the staircase playing cards with my cousins because we couldn’t watch TV. Most of all, I miss the darkness of the night, where everyone gathered around together, because they had no screens to look at, no instruments to distract them, and we could just be there, in the moment, waiting for the light to come back and at the same time wishing that it does not.

I miss you, Summer.

Jim Jam

On my way to work today, I passed a supermarket and  I saw an aged man coming out with a huge bag in one hand and a Jim Jam (Biscuits with jam in between them) in the other. He could hardly manage to carry one bag and was struggling with opening the pack. He finally opened it and the smile on his face was the same as a kid who had found his favourite toy after a long day of searching. He opened it and licked the jam before eating the biscuits separately. Not only do some habits die hard, but some people always remain a kid at heart. ❤