Self Reflection (sort of)

There is a certain kind of pain, that is inexpressible, which holds your head within its grasp and tries to push your skull in, along with all the hope which it tries to destroy. How to get rid of this hold is a question I have never been able to solve. Gradual departure is easy to bear, but when a friend suddenly leaves, you don’t know what to do, what to say. I wish I could tell you the truth. I am a very possessive person and when I want somebody, I want them all for myself, I want to consume them, but at the same time, I am like a candle which burns in the daylight. You will never know what I feel, what I want to say. And till night comes, I have melted into the unknown. If it so happens that my object of desire goes away, and isn’t mine with all its soul and heart, my coping mechanism instantly comes into play, I try to tell myself, that it was never meant to happen. I push away, my desire, my love and every ounce of affection that I had for that thing. For me, its always all or nothing.

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